Many people do not know that the excuse for their behavior is because of their gender, or that men hit women. I am truly sorry if you are experiencing abuse in your relationship. It is not okay for you to strike your girlfriend, NO. It is likely that her behavior is taking a toll on you more than it is for me to hit my girlfriend, and you are asking if it is normal for me to hit my girlfriend.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), one out of every four men has encountered some type of physical aggression from a close companion. Instances of domestic abuse against men are more frequent than we realize. Society often disregards the reality that males can also be victims, thus tragically rendering men as unseen casualties of intimate partner violence.
The lack of desire is frequently associated with shame or fear of being accused of being the offender. Furthermore, males are less inclined to confide in someone or notify the authorities about the occurrence.
I will explain what acts fall under physical violence and guide you on how to handle the following situation step-by-step. Importantly, you’ll also learn why men hit women. Domestic violence is considered when it occurs in intimate or close relationships (DV). Hitting is an act of violence, which is known as battery, a crime.
If you need urgent help from an expert specializing in domestic abuse, click on the National Domestic Hotline to chat with a representative.
According to the Family Justice Center, domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in which sexual and harassment, stalking, economic, emotional, and physical forms of abuse are used to maintain or gain control and power over an intimate partner.
Her behavior of engaging in domestic violence is sufficient grounds for your girlfriend to reside with you. It is not necessary for it to result in lasting harm or visible injuries in order for it to be considered a criminal offense; in this instance, you are enduring physical violence.
In intimate relationships, women are generally more aggressive and controlling than men, factually speaking. It is possible that your girlfriend may engage in behaviors that fall under domestic violence. In addition to hitting, some partners may take their aggression further by punching or slapping.
How to Deal with Your Girlfriend Hitting You: A Step-by-Side Guide
The following steps, which can vary based on your specific circumstances, include all the necessary measures. It is crucial to take steps to protect yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. Abuse is never okay. Abuse is not love.
Step 1: Do NOT hit her back
Avoid engaging in such behavior! Males possess an inherent inclination to respond with aggression and dislike the sensation of being powerless and emasculated in the presence of females. Physically striking them represents a significant display of disrespect and elicits feelings of emasculation. They hold a position of authority within the gender hierarchy and detest any form of disrespect. Males have a tendency to critically evaluate their masculinity based on a woman’s perception and treatment of them.
In order to avoid any potential harm or negative consequences, it is important that you refrain from reacting with further anger, calling her names, yelling, or threatening her. Instead, it would be better to stay composed and handle the situation calmly. If she reports the incident, there is a high chance that you could be arrested and jailed. Additionally, it is crucial to recognize that you have the potential to seriously harm your girlfriend.
Step 2: Calmly tell her that her behavior is NOT okay
Your girlfriend may have been brought up to believe that slapping or striking someone is a typical method of resolving conflicts.
The chances are, she may think it’s wrong or may not think it’s wrong to make a big deal out of it, but you may think she’s weak. She may have experienced violence in a previous abusive relationship without holding others accountable.
Refrain from seeking revenge. Labeling you as a coward, for instance, constitutes an act of aggression and an offense, which is entirely inappropriate. She may attempt to initiate a verbal assault, belittle your emotions, or rationalize her actions. Inform her in a direct and composed manner that physically harming you is an act of violence and a criminal offense.
Are you willing to take a risk? If she hits you again, there’s a good chance she will apologize and defend her actions. If she continues to repeat the abuse, let her know that you are willing to end the relationship, as it’s her first time putting her hands on you.
Step 3: Talk to someone from the National Domestic Violence Hotline
I completely understand how difficult it is for you to reveal the abuse, as a domestic violence expert, and to put aside any fear or shame of negative judgment in order to seek help. It is crucial for your well-being and safety.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available to assist both women and men. The organization offers a secure and impartial space to discuss the details of the incident. You can reach them by dialing 800.799.SAFE (7233) or by visiting their website.
To prevent the escalation of abuse, particularly after ending the relationship, it is advisable to create a safety plan with the assistance you will receive. The organization will offer information on what actions to take, indicators to watch out for, and the reasons behind relationship abuse.
Keep reading the remaining steps if you decide to stay in the relationship for now.
Step 4: Try to understand why she hits you
You need to have a conversation about what is causing your girlfriend to lash out at you. There is always a root cause for this behavior, and acting violently or abusing is a learned behavior.
If something isn’t hitting you wrong, it’s possible that someone else is misdirecting their anger towards you. The problem may not be you.
If you want to find out if she was living in an abusive or dysfunctional relationship, try to act assertively towards the individual who is diagnosed with the mental health condition. Also, listen attentively for any information that points to her upbringing in an abusive or dysfunctional family. You could ask her about her childhood.
Proceed to the most suitable option for you. The only way forward is to approach this situation with caution. Seeking individual therapy or couples therapy may be beneficial in addressing trauma. It is important to inform her that seeking help is necessary to assist her in managing harmful behavior and anger. She should not make excuses for her conduct, but rather acknowledge the reasons behind it.
Step 5: Decide if you want to continue this relationship
Some individuals adhere to a one-strike-you’re-out principle when it comes to deliberate aggression within a partnership. On the other hand, there are those who possess a greater sense of empathy, compassion, and forgiveness, and are more open to granting second opportunities.
No criticism here. Just remember that relationship mistreatment occurs in a recurring pattern and it typically deteriorates over time.
If you want to establish a healthy relationship, it is important to consider everything that has been said and understand that it depends on her willingness to help and respond to her calling. The issues underlying the deal are supposed to be resolved.
Without the coping skills to manage stress and anger in a healthy way, it is likely that hitting will become a pattern of behavior for her punching bag.
Step 6: Establish rules and boundaries
In order to offer her another opportunity, you choose to remain and it is crucial in this circumstance to establish strong limits. Nevertheless, that does not imply that you will permit her to continue disregarding your boundaries; allowing your girlfriend an opportunity to clarify the reasons behind her actions is a mature action to take.
If she ever hits you again, it is advisable to terminate the relationship. In case she engages in physical violence again, establish a firm stance of having absolutely no tolerance moving forward- no room for second opportunities. By communicating to her that you will not accept any form of physical aggression or assault from her in the future, you have already established a boundary.
Step 7: Tell someone you trust
If someone you know who is involved in the court or police system could be a witness, it is always beneficial to have a network of supportive people who care about your well-being and safety. You can benefit from a strong support network made up of trusted individuals who always keep you informed about what is happening.
If you need to stay in a place to transition out of an abusive relationship, they may suggest allowing you to stay at their home or provide helpful resources. They will also ask you to explain what your girlfriend did and how it made you feel.
If your girlfriend continues to escalate the violence in your relationship, including making a scene and showing up at your workplace, it may be advisable to inform your employer, especially if you are experiencing domestic violence.
Step 8: Don’t blame yourself
Sometimes, it is easier to confront the real reason for your partner resorting to violence than blaming yourself. You may feel like you didn’t do enough to make her happy. You may blame yourself for thinking that you did something to provoke the assault.
To prevent children from experiencing low self-esteem, shame, and denial, there are various reasons why psychologists suggest avoiding separation. One of the reasons is that men tend to stay in abusive relationships for a long time. Additionally, by giving the relationship a second chance and allowing oneself to be hit, you may sometimes find yourself getting angry.
Don’t beat yourself up for her bad behavior. The traits of a human’s personality are shaped by early life experiences and childhood. You’re not staying with your girlfriend because of her volatile temper, whatever the reason may be.
Step 9: Talk to a mental health professional
To effectively handle and understand the present state of affairs, consulting with an expert will aid you. Even for men, abuse leads to long-lasting psychological anguish.
In a future partnership, acknowledging your fury aids in avoiding venting it onto another individual. You will have the capacity to resolve any rage or bitterness you experience towards your partner or yourself.
A behavioral therapist can help you work on rebuilding your self-esteem. You’ll learn your worth and stop allowing others to hit you.
Step 10. End the relationship or move out if she doesn’t change
If you made an effort to assist her in seeking assistance, you provided her with an additional opportunity following the initial occurrence. She is fortunate. It is advisable to terminate the relationship if your partner perpetrates violence against you once more. Do not consent to remain in a relationship or residence where your security and welfare are jeopardized.
If you reside in the same residence and she continues to exhibit abusive behavior, it might be advisable to relocate and proceed with your life. In case you do not feel comfortable leaving without the assistance of a domestic violence counselor, it is recommended to reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Alternatively, you can opt for the text option by texting “START” to 88788.
Don’t fret. The phone conversation and the entire procedure are private.
Why Does My Girlfriend Hit Me?
Including other causes, such as borderline personality disorder, the root cause of intimate partner violence can stem from struggling to control your mental health condition, which may result in aggression.
It is crucial to determine why your partner acts the way she does, even though there is no justifiable reason for you to excuse or tolerate her behavior under any circumstances.
The act of using weapons or physical force to hit, push, and grab is a manifestation of violence. As time progresses, things tend to worsen. It is essential that you safely remove yourself from a toxic and abusive relationship as soon as possible.
Final Thoughts on Is It Normal for My Girlfriend to Hit Me?
It is always important to take relationship mistreatment very seriously, regardless of whether it includes physical or emotional damage. You deserve to be in a happy, healthy, and loving relationship.
Escape from a harmful relationship with 15 secure measures, and persistently persevere. Educate and empower yourself, find a nearby counselor, and involve law enforcement if required. Adapt, recover, and seek assistance to handle intimate partner abuse. Prioritize your well-being.