Mom on daughter: “She wants to move with us for college; I don’t want her back”


This article explores the complex situation faced by Sarah, a young woman who desires to move back home with her parents for college, but her mother opposes the idea. The article delves into the question of whether parents should continue supporting their adult children or encourage them to become independent.


Sarah has been living with her parents, Tara and Gary, since she was a child. Tara strongly believes that it is crucial for Sarah to learn to be a responsible adult and not rely on her parents’ support once she completes high school. On the other hand, Gary is more supportive and actively acknowledges his daughter’s achievements.

Sarah’s Perspective

Sarah feels that her mother does not adequately appreciate her accomplishments. She longs for praise and positive comments from her mother, citing her excellent grades and various competition wins. However, Tara’s demanding work schedule often prevents her from being as involved in Sarah’s achievements as Gary.

Childhood and Teenage Years

Sarah’s childhood and teenage years were characterized by her mother’s focus on teaching her the importance of self-sufficiency. Tara constantly emphasized the need for Sarah to be capable of taking care of herself once she reached adulthood. As a result, Sarah was required to start working full-time after completing her last year of high school, in order to afford renting an apartment with her friends.

Desire for Recognition

Sarah expresses her desire for her mother to demonstrate pride in her achievements. She feels that her hard work and success are taken for granted by Tara, contrary to Gary’s enthusiastic celebrations and expressions of joy. Sarah yearns for her mother’s recognition and acknowledgment of her accomplishments.

Tara’s Perspective

Tara believes that allowing Sarah to move back home for college would hinder her growth. She views it as a step backward and worries that it would create a dependency on her and Gary. Tara wants Sarah to find her own solutions and face challenges independently as a means of maturing and becoming a responsible adult.

Conflict and Resolution

Sarah recognizes her desire to further her education and pursue a successful career. However, she believes that she needs her parents’ support to achieve this goal. Sarah plans to have a conversation with her mother, hoping to convince her that moving back home for college would not impede her personal growth. She intends to emphasize the temporary nature of her request, suggesting a two or three-year timeframe for living with her parents.


This article provokes discussion about the fair and appropriate level of support parents should provide for their adult children. It raises questions regarding Tara’s refusal to allow Sarah to live at home, as well as the potential benefits of Sarah living with her parents while working and studying. Ultimately, the article does not offer a definitive answer, leaving room for readers to form their own opinions.