Clearing Things Up: Paul Simon Has Revealed The Crime He Sings About In ‘Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard’ Is Huffing Nitrous In A Two-Person Superman Costume
Introduction
For decades, music fans have been curious about the mysterious crime mentioned in Paul Simon’s 1972 hit song “Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard.” After years of speculation, Paul Simon has finally provided an answer. In a recent press conference, the singer revealed that the crime he sings about is huffing nitrous oxide while wearing a two-person Superman costume.
The Infamous Crime
During the press conference, Paul Simon confirmed that the crime referred to in the song was him and his friend Julio engaging in the act of huffing nitrous oxide in a school parking lot. This act was done while both of them were crammed into a two-person Superman costume. Paul explained that the use of nitrous oxide was the illegal part of their escapade, especially due to its proximity to a school.
Paul elaborated on the details, stating, “Although these details aren’t in the song, I’ve always imagined that me and Julio were standing in our costume right on top of one of those merry-go-round things, standing completely still, just passing the nitrous back and forth, totally silent.”
He further added, “We thought that if we did enough nitrous, we’d start to believe we actually were Superman, and I’m pleased to report that we were successful in our efforts, having acquired the forbidden knowledge of how it feels to be Superman standing completely still on a merry-go-round.”
The Two-Person Superman Costume
Paul Simon took the opportunity to provide a detailed explanation of the two-person Superman costume. He clarified that it is different from a two-person horse costume, where one person is the front and the other is the back. In the case of the Superman costume, both individuals stand snugly together like dominoes inside a single suit, giving the appearance of being thick and strong, similar to the real Superman.
“Fake muscles just aren’t convincing. If you want to look convincingly like Superman, you’ve gotta double up in a single suit with a buddy, and you’ve gotta both flex as hard as you can at all times so that people can tell it’s real human bulk in there and not just padding,” Simon explained during his 20-minute long-winded explanation.
He continued, “We got quite good at operating the costume in tandem. Both of our heads were sticking out the neck hole, but we were maneuvering as if a single organism, and this turned out to be an unsettling sight to behold for many of the parents at the playground.”
Paul acknowledged that their behavior, combined with the two-person Superman costume, attracted attention and led to the police being called on them.
The Radical Priest Connection
Paul Simon went on to explain the reason behind the radical priest mentioned in the song coming to get him released. According to Paul, the two-person Superman costume actually belonged to the priest. The priest needed it back so that he and another priest could use it to sing worship songs, aiming to trick kids into loving God.
Paul stated, “All of this was explained in the original version of the song, but Columbia Records cut it from the version that was eventually released to the public without my knowledge or permission.”
Conclusion
Paul Simon’s revelation about the crime he sings about in “Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard” has finally put an end to decades of speculation. The act of huffing nitrous oxide while wearing a two-person Superman costume provides an intriguing backstory to the beloved song. Additionally, Paul’s detailed explanation of the costume itself sheds light on the intricacies of the two-person Superman attire. It’s an exciting look into the creative process and the stories behind iconic songs.