Here’s what Herschel Walker had to say about vampires today

McDonough, GA – Today, Herschel Walker, the Georgia Senate candidate, was giving a stump speech ahead of the upcoming election runoff. He spent about three minutes talking about his secret children, who he claims to have more of than Sugar Bowl wins.

I was here watching a stupid movie late at night hoping it’s gonna get better it don’t get better but you keep watching anyway. Cause the other night, the other night I was watching this movie — I was watching this movie called Fright Night, Freak Night or some type of night but it was about vampires. I don’t know if you know but vampires are some cool people are they not? But let me tell you something that I found out: a werewolf can kill a vampire did you know that? I never knew that. So I don’t want to be a vampire anymore I wanna be a werewolf.

But then anyway as I’m watching this movie and then you tell how stupid it is cause it’s one in the morning. So I’m watching my TV of these kids watching their TV of a vampire killed on their TV. So you know it’s kinda stupid, but I’m still watching though. As I’m watching this show what was funny was these kids had a vampire in their attic at their house. So they were watching their TV, now I’m watching my TV, they’re watching their TV, they see the vampire killed on their TV. So they win this contest to bring this actor — now y’all gotta stay with me — bring this actor who’s a vampire killer from that TV to get rid of this [unintelligible] vampire in their attic. So this actor comes into their home, he got all the right stuff. He got all the right stuff. Because you know, gotta have a stake, gotta have a thing to kill him in the heart. And he’s got a necklace of garlic, cause that work. I don’t know what it does but it work. Gotta have a cross, cause it burns, I know that works.

And then all of a sudden, this is what’s so funny about it: as they’re walking through the house, this, this guys got the holy water and he’s blessing the house, this actor now he’s all faith. He’s blessing the house with his holy water. He walked upstairs and this vampire looking real good in his black suit, whoa that sounds like Senator Warnock doesn’t it? Looking all good in his black suit. Floated from the ceiling , he floated from the ceiling looking good and cool. And I’m thinking “Whoa, they better get out of that house.” If somebody float from your ceiling, get out of that house. That’s not your house. But as he floated from the ceiling the kid jumped behind their hero, and they jumped behind their hero, the guy jumped in front of them with this holy water threw it on the vampire forehead, he covered his eyes. Then he took his hand away and started laughing. And he said “that don’t work.” He took the cross and put it on the vampire forehead and the vampire didn’t even do anything he said “that don’t work.” And that’s where it is in our life. It don’t even work unless you’ve got faith.

There are no lycanthropes in Tom Holland’s 1985 movie Fright Night.