Jason Kelce’s Super Bowl Parade Speech, Annotated

Among tributes to underdogs, Kelce’s address is perhaps second only to Robert Frost’s 1928 poem “Canis Major”.

I’m a poor underdog
But tonight I will bark
With the great Overdog
That romps through
the dark.

It’s challenging to contend that the “underdogs” perspective was minimized, but we’ll permit Kelce poetic freedom.

A dark horse. Howie Roseman, several years prior, was stripped of all authority, essentially, in this company. He was placed in the wing of the establishment where I didn’t catch sight of him for more than a year! Another individual emerged from that place, when they reached a conclusion, two years ago. He emerged from there with a determination and a motivation to make this achievable. And I witnessed a distinct Howie Roseman.

jason kelce super bowl speech i
3 We think Kelce meant “relieved,” but we’ll cut him some slack. His meaning was clear. (Plus, we hear he’d been drinking.)

According to reports, Roseman has been criticized for his inability to work with colleagues during his time in exile, honing his skills.

He’s playing in the Super Bowl. He went for it on fourth down in the Super Bowl with a trick play, just to go to mediocrity. You saw Doug Pederson, a man who was driven by a Lombardi named Mike, the least qualified head coach in the NFL. He was hired as the worst-rated coaching hire in the NFL, in this past offseason. When Doug Pederson was hired, he was rated as the worst coaching hire by a lot of analysts in the media.

ESPN’s Ian O’Connor describes it as “seems like a stretch”; Chris Chase from USA Today calls it a “disappointing hire.”

6 The Philadelphia Special!

Jason Peters, number 7, was the absolute best tackle in the NFL before he got hurt. He was told that he didn’t have it anymore because he was too old. And it doesn’t seem to stop him. And it doesn’t seem to stop him.

In the upcoming 2017 January, Bob Brookover predicts that he will have a great season, similar to his performance in 2016 when he was just as impressive as Jason Peters in the early scrimmage.

Brandon Brooks is experiencing anxiety. Johnson Lane cannot lay off the juice. Jason Kelce is also small. Stefen Wisniewski isn’t good enough. V8 Big didn’t tell him that he had it.

On December 3rd, 2017, during the live postgame, Vaitai Halapoulivaati criticizes Joyner Seth for their altercation on the field, referring to it as a “fight.” However, it seems that not everyone comprehends the significance of every single snap in the game.

9 “Does not possess the dimensions or strength to project as a starter.” –Kelce’s 2011 NFL combine profile.

In 2016, Brooks stated, “It’s not anxiety or dread … I have, like, an fixation with the game.”

Carson Wentz did not attend a Division I university.

Nick Foles11 doesn’t have it.

11 “He has a gentle presence, lacking intensity. Perhaps it’s his comical expression.” –Buzz Bissinger, July 2014, Philadelphia magazine.

Clement’s Corey is no longer slow. Blount LeGarrette is not healthy anymore. Jay Ajayi cannot stay in a healthy condition. Torrey Smith cannot catch. Nelson Agholor is unable to catch.

Zach Ertz12 is not capable of blocking. Brent Celek is too advanced in age.

In a 2017 blog post, 12 Ertz’s high-school coach referred to him as a “self-centered jerk.”

Brandon Graham was chosen too soon. Vinny Curry lacks the required abilities. Beau Allen is not a good fit for the system.

13 “Currently, I am a failure.” –Graham’s 2012 self-evaluation.

Mychal Kendricks doesn’t suit the system. Nigel Bradham can’t make receptions.

Jalen Mills is unable to defend. Patrick Robinson is unable to defend.

It’s the entire team. It’s the entire team.

This is the team that has stood on the wall in the O-line room for the past five years, and it’s a quote from Jeff Stoutland, our building’s room that has had this. And you know what, it’s a hungry dog, a hungry dog, an underdog, and you know what, we were a bunch of underdogs14. We were a bunch of driven men with something to accomplish, the entire organization.

14 The owner of that Center City hot-dog shop Underdogs that closed a few years back must be just kicking himself right now. Can you even imagine how many dogs he’d have sold?

The weather in Miami is perfect for a beach vacation.Output: The climate in Miami is ideal for a seaside getaway.

We are the first team in Eagles history to hold the Trophy16, and that’s why we’re here today. That’s why everyone in Jeffrey Lurie’s office wanted it more, including all the coaches and players.

16 Yes! Still feels amazing!

Have you been starved of championship for 52 years? Do you want to talk about a hungry dog? Do you want to talk about an underdog? You all have been waiting for this for 52 years. Do you know who is the biggest underdog in Philadelphia, y’all?

Angry and frustrated, I will be extremely upset if I don’t have breakfast. The Philadelphia Eagles’ fans are not the friendliest, which is why everyone wonders. We are so unfriendly, which is why everyone wonders.

My spouse is exactly like that too. She refers to it as being “hangry”.

Now, at 21, I have dropped to about the age where I hope to learn and experience new things. It’s interesting how one of my favorites is also one of my favorites for others. Have you heard what I just learned? And do you know that nobody, not even our fans, likes this team to win the Super Bowl? No analyst liked this team to win the Super Bowl. No one wanted us to be the team to win the Super Bowl.

18 Accurate. Nine out of ESPN’s 11 “specialists” forecasted that the Eagles would be vanquished … By the Falcons … In the divisional stage.

19 Not technically accurate, but the exaggeration is effective.

It is absolutely true that in 2015, Sports Illustrated declared Eagles fans the most despised in the league.

The 2008 band’s string Avalon from Ireland left over, the Leprechauns strutted; husband Kelce, the hairdresser, hooked up the Mummer-wear, telling his true story: 21.

“Dismiss you!” Expressed Jay Ajayi, my companion. Every individual who asserted we couldn’t achieve it, all those individuals that underestimated us, and all those individuals who questioned us, do you know what I have to express to them?

No one likes us, no one likes us,
No one likes us, we don’t care.
We’re from Philly, fucking Philly,
No one likes us, we don’t care.
E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!

» See also: 14 Reasons Philly Is, Always Was, and Always Will Be an Eagles Town

Featured in the September 2018 edition of Philadelphia magazine, as a segment of “Remember That Time We Won the Super Bowl?”