Another young man walked into another school, expressing his pent-up rage and mental illness with a gun. This week, Ian Michael Black made rounds on the internet with his piece in The New York Times titled “Are Boys Alright?” Last week, I didn’t vote for him, and it’s not Trump’s fault — it’s the fault of the omnipresent default and the fault of the NRA. It’s the fault of mental health, it’s the fault of guns. It’s the fault of masculinity. Boys are lost. It’s the fault of masculinity. Men are lost.
The writer, Black Ian Michael, states that we cannot replace the word “man” with “boy” accurately. This is true. Boys are violent. Boys cannot express their emotions. Boys are hypersexual. Boys are angry. Boys are not good in a positive way. This point has been mentioned before and the piece is well-organized and well-written.
“There has to be a way to expand what it means to be a man without losing our masculinity.
I don’t know how we open ourselves to the rich complexity of our manhood. I think we would benefit from the same conversations girls and women have been having for these past 50 years.
I would like men to use feminism as an inspiration, in the same way that feminists used the civil rights movement as theirs.
I’m not promoting a rapid solution. There is no such thing. However, we must initiate the dialogue. Males are in a state of disrepair, and my intention is to assist.
I do, however, acknowledge the fact that by exposing ourselves to the intricate intricacies of our masculinity, we gain a deeper understanding. The current predicament concerning boys and men is a matter that Michael Ian Black and The New York Times may not possess a solution for. How can we address the issue at hand before more young individuals fall victim to acts of violence committed by young men? What actions can we take? The conversation requires more than just a starting point. We have been engaging in the same dialogue for an extended period. However, when the conversation fails to progress beyond expressing our anger and pointing fingers on social media platforms, it only serves to exacerbate the problem without providing any solutions. What Black’s article and other similar pieces fail to acknowledge is the repetition of the same problem without offering any solutions.
THE BOYS WILL BEALRIGHT WHEN THE MENARE ALRIGHT
The start of a turning tide is now, where the killing of children is a violent act. Here’s what you can do: as a man, I will present it to you. Men need to become men themselves first. Actualized men. Strong men. Good men. Boys need men in their lives. Rather than simply pointing fingers or posturing in politics, what I’m doing here is protecting that little dog and being willing to fight on one particular side. Most people have a dog in the fight because they are willing to protect that little pup rather than bringing about real change. In addition to putting aside these hot-button issues, I also have an open mind and I’m reading this article for the sake of wanting you to read it. Instead of arguing in circles, let’s address them. The result is that these issues, which are political and emotionally charged, are the product of a number of factors, resulting in the current state of men and boys.
STEP 1: BECOME CONSCIOUSOf YOUR MANHOOD
How can we expect our behavior to fit into the highest expression of manhood? How can we create a framework for our behavior that aligns with the highest expression of manhood? I have had very few ideas related to the concept of being a man. Yet, this discussion brought together a diverse group of men who were interested and conscious enough to give their time and money. This group included white men, black men, straight men, gay men, and men from various backgrounds. The unified answer was, “Wow, oh, I have never really thought about being a man before.” What do you find most challenging about being a man? What do you love most about being a man? These were the common questions that opened up a fascinating conversation that I found most interesting that night. The goal of the evening was to have an open conversation about being a man and the state of masculinity, which is a conversation that is much needed. A month ago, in Williamsburg, New York, at a lululemon store, over twenty men gathered for this evening.
Why have we lost our ability or willingness to reflect on our lives as men?
Shame and negativity, toxicity, that’s what’s filling that void — the consequence of what we witness on the news every morning. A rite of passage does get fulfilled, and the absence of a strong paternal figure in most households (don’t worry, I’m not assigning blame) creates a gap. So, nature detests an empty space, and these elements include: adult content, popular culture, films and video games, the media, and adult men influencing young boys. The concept of “being a man,” whether boys are left to their own devices without guidance, is uncertain. The teachings about being a provider and/or the notion of being a protector, the responsibilities linked to the physical and sexual power of masculinity, and the meaning of manhood are not conveyed. To reach “manhood” and undergo initiation, other boys and women are separated from the community, ceremonially detached from the tribe, but boys are never isolated. This absence of an initiation rite is observed in American and Western societies.
THE WAY OFTHE MAN
Can you inquire if you are a compassionate individual? How can we create a path for millions of boys who will someday follow in our footsteps? We can only truly understand what it means to be a man until we can consciously relate to other men.
If you want to change the world, especially when daily challenges are presented, how would your most actualized version of yourself act as a man who acts right now? It is evident that the world’s ills are primarily driven by our desires, which still need to be tempered by the acquisition and expression of these behaviors if we examine them.
The boy’s way of being is irresponsible. The boy acts in a way that allows him to do what feels good and lets the consequences come later. The boy’s way of being is to hope to avoid the consequences and act first. However, being a shy man doesn’t make it easy to simply be, due to it being difficult. However, it will not be easy to hold the highest standard of maturity in expressing actions and thoughts.
The individual on the path is distinct from the individual on the path during childhood. The process of starting, instructing, or guiding oneself can only be achieved by transitioning from boyhood to manhood. From that point forward, it is your responsibility to start connecting with the ways of adult males if the process of initiation and instruction is absent or has never occurred in your life. Assuming a leadership role in all aspects of your life, remaining rooted and focused in challenging situations, and above all, consciously and consistently opting for the more difficult path is the embodiment of manhood. That represents the path that men follow.
STEP 2SPEAK TO BOYS ABOUTTHE WAYS OF MEN
As individuals of the male gender, we have a duty. Initially, it is our duty to ourselves, and subsequently to the young males of the globe — the future males. If you are fortunate enough to be a father, this duty is of utmost importance. Nevertheless, all males are living illustrations of the essence of masculinity. This duty is crucial, especially if you have the privilege of being a father. First and foremost, we should prioritize our responsibility to ourselves, and then extend it to the younger males who will shape the future. As males, we bear this responsibility.
Let’s put this to the side and just talk about what it’s like to be a man — forever dissected, debated, and discussed will be the massive topic of how women and men relate and interact with each other. How often do you engage in conversations about masculinity with young men in the world, and how does it relate to how women behave? Have you sorted out your own understanding of masculinity yet? How often do you have open conversations with younger men in your life about what it means to be a man? There are times when all eyes are on you, whether you choose to read it again or believe it.
When it comes to women, let’s discuss how it relates to being a man. First and foremost, let’s talk about courage and honor. Let’s also talk about leadership. Importantly, let’s discuss responsibility. Additionally, let’s talk about strength and power. We should also discuss masculinity, using the words “man,” “men,” and “manhood” when talking to a boy.
Before we can give them the pathway to walk, we should not teach boys to shoot up schools or engage in rape. First and foremost, we need to establish guidelines and standards for superpowers. This will enable us to hold a massive space and have the ability to breathe. Above all, our primary purpose should be the development and growth of our own actualization. Then, as a way to save the world from the male violence epidemic, we must strive to become a good partner, husband, or boyfriend.
Men with broad shoulders, let’s assist them in their development. Let’s encourage boys to take on the responsibility of the world that has been passed down to them by a previous generation of men who attempted to fill their unaddressed sense of masculinity with casual encounters, alcohol, and video games, prior to our involvement.
MEN ARE NEEDED NOWMORE THAN EVER
Boys are lost. No shit. Take a look around, though- so are the vast majority of humans walking around with a Y chromosome.
Boys, who are strong men that celebrate the vastness of their hearts, need to be respected. We haven’t shown a better way or a way that comes in a package, because we are lost. Men are lost, as we lead in every negative statistic in the United States, thus letting the planet down.
Now, in this day and
Taking action can often be time-consuming and energy-draining, leading to finger-pointing and delays. However, I am aware that this situation can ruffle some delicate feathers, but it is not Trump’s fault or a fault of masculinity. It is not the fault of guns either. Nowadays, boys have the ability to instantly become famous by using mass destruction weapons to harm other children, and they now have the ability to easily obtain such weapons. In today’s world, information, whether good or bad, spreads faster than ever, reaching impressionable minds at a speed that even authority figures like Kardashian struggle to match.
Action taken by us males, for our brethren, our sons, and our planet.
Your affectionate humanist, uncultivated genuine
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