How does it make you feel? The growth spurts in elementary school-aged kids, especially when they are getting too big, can be quite remarkable. If you stop and look at a child who you haven’t seen in a while, they may appear much taller than you remember. It seems like they are growing up so fast! Chances are, you have heard someone say, “Wow, you’ve grown up so fast!” To a child.
Why do these utterances punch me in the gut every time? I would like to explain the reasons why you might want to think about saying something like that twice, as a teacher and parent, as you encounter the next time, like a young child advancing in years and gaining height.
1. It implies that you haven’t been around.
It can be downright depressing sometimes… Even years or months have passed and this child hasn’t been face to face with an adult who says it too fast, that kid is growing up too quickly. “That phrase, I hear it most frequently.
Over the course of several months, I was taken aback by the sudden and noticeable physical transformations my son underwent. Despite the newfound separation, there was still a sense of happiness and closeness reminiscent of the days when my friend lived nearby and witnessed my child’s development on a weekly basis. It was during this period that I became acutely aware of the void left by my friend’s absence, after she relocated. Upon seeing a picture of my son, a close friend exclaimed, “Your child is maturing at an alarming rate!” These words sparked the inspiration to pen this article.
Organizing virtual calls, sharing photos more often, in the instance of my acquaintance, it diminishes the element of surprise in witnessing their transformations. Even engaging in video calls, making every effort to allocate more time with them simply implies that they are not aging “excessively quickly” — it merely accentuates the noticeable alterations that occur when one is apart from another individual for an extended period of time, and humans naturally evolve, progress, and undergo changes, indeed.
(Note: I will expand on this point in #5.) This is a heart-wrenching and genuine aspect of this “mature quickly” conversation that highlights the sorrow frequently associated with these words. Gratitude is expressed to the reader who wrote to stress that worldwide situations can occasionally render it UNFEASIBLE for individuals to reunite with their cherished ones in the manner they eagerly desire.
2. It suggests you haven’t been paying attention.
In an alternative setting, let’s rewind to examine this phenomenon. That prompts an entirely different range of inquiries when individuals who spend more time with the child utter the expression “they’re maturing too quickly.”
If you take the time to appreciate and truly absorb what is happening in every step of the way, the evening will zip by in a blur, bringing together many loved ones. They explained that the wedding will be a vivid and long-lasting memory if you don’t engage in this willful mindfulness. The best advice I received before my wedding day was to pay attention and keep the same intentionality throughout the event. I made sure to directly look at everyone’s faces and took my time walking down the aisle.
The stacking of flow rather than pieces makes it attention-grabbing, as change incrementally happens. This isn’t just a fast-paced business issue on a daily basis; it’s about how we act and look at what they appreciate and think. We frequently need to take the time to pause and reflect when dealing with children, as it’s the same thing.
3. It devalues the massive DAILY work of raising children.
“A man I barely knew told me to cherish every moment because children grow up quickly!” When my daughter was just 6 months old and still struggling with sleep. The majority of individuals who have been tirelessly tending to the daily tasks of nourishing, cleansing, and caring for children would not describe it as happening at a swift pace, in relation to point number 2.
I couldn’t help but wonder. Not one of them is experiencing enough sleep deprivation to enjoy the fact that you’re being chided, but there is so much to be thankful for as a parent. It seemed unlikely. The doctor who was constantly nursing the pain gone awry was the one he was? Was he the one who ended up getting every three months in his family? I couldn’t help but wonder.
4. It breeds tragic feelings of helplessness.
It is unimaginable, the pain there, when someone cannot be with the growing child in a situation where the person is literally heartbroken. The first moment possible, there will be and I can’t help but deeply love you! But in every minute, I wish I could be there so much, “is the statement being said in that case, that.
An inclination towards a specific phase could be one of the factors behind expressing this sentiment, despite being present. At times, even residing alongside them, individuals are truly present with them when they mention that children are “maturing too quickly” on numerous occasions. Nevertheless, I wish to underscore.
…They will never experience a genuine sense of being recognized and embraced. It is crucial to acknowledge that development and transformation are inherent, and rather than yearning for hypothetical possibilities, we ought to welcome the current moment and treasure our children for their authentic selves.
5. It subverts the important reality that EVERY phase is important.
Yes, I’m even referring to those uncomfortable transitional stages such as middle school. AND presents its own difficulties, I am certain that each and every year of human existence is remarkable and attractive in its unique manner, an instructor for ages 8-22, and a person for ages 0-40, As an individual who has now experienced being a caregiver to ages 0-7.
Being older than children who are younger than children who are older than children who are younger than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older than children who are older
6. It implies that children SHOULD be smaller, weaker, and not independent.
It is preferable that when a person is young, both societally and mentally, physically, it is considered “growing up TOO fast” when someone in adulthood mentions the implicit power dynamic. Reading it as hoarding power, it means that instead of someone holding you back, I would rather see you fully actualize into your own person. It would be more appealing if you were a cute little thing rather than someone saying “growing up TOO fast” in adulthood, as it implies an implicit power dynamic.
Is it possible for another power to be equally upsetting, but in a completely different way? Here’s another question: if it’s not about retaining the adult’s exact power, what does the phrase “too fast” mean in the context of a young person’s growth? Then, why does the phrase “TOO” seem to explain this common phrase in a sensitive or overly dramatic interpretation?
7. It forces thoughts of decline and mortality.
What are the alternatives? When you open the door, sorry, but that’s not a very pleasant thing to talk about when time is passing so quickly. Another way to finish the “growing up too fast” sentence is to say that we are hurtling towards our inevitable demise.
The key to fixing problematic phrases is to emphasize elements that instead of saying something is growing too big or getting fast, so the growth is stopped or slowed down.
Within this framework, here are potential phrases you could experiment with.
A. “I love how they’re growing!”
As time passes and different stages come and go, they confidently affirm that they are doing a hearty job of supporting their children’s mental and physical development. This phrase can truly make guardians and parents feel good because it acknowledges the positive aspects they embrace.
B. “It’s great how tall and strong you’re getting.”
Rarely do girls use the adjective “strong” too. It indicates that in the future, the child who will be strong and tall opens the door to the future, as the adult. This is like saying it is a nice gesture of power-sharing.
C. “I haven’t seen them in so long, and it’s fantastic to see how they’re coming into their own!”
This phrase emphasizes the joy of seeing how humans develop over time and blossom. However, instead of expressing shock from this visual change, it is an utterance that takes open-eyed responsibility, like noticing the noticeable physical changes they have made for a significant amount of time without having face-to-face interaction.
D. [Insert specific positive observation or question here.]
Currently, in their present state, becoming acquainted with the child is an expression that acknowledges a marvelous aspect or presents an inquiry. Is the following an illustration of both the prior and latter situations: “It’s truly remarkable to reunite with you after such a long time! Based on your attire, I assume you have developed an interest in dinosaurs. Could you please provide me with further details on that?”
Sharing a rare occasion on social media, I love receiving specific positive observations of my children, so I will post a photo of myself cuddling my happy son and your daughter’s smile, which is just like yours if you’re not sure what kind of words affirm a person with gifts like a teacher.
Closing Thoughts on Growing Up
Hooray! This article has been on my mind for a long time, as it finally allows me to publish and share the words that have been quietly playing in my mind for a long time. I am excited about the new phases of growth that await my old kids.