Developing a strong connection with their newborns is facilitated by the hormones released during childbirth, giving mothers an early advantage. However, for certain fathers, it may require a little more time to establish that profound bond.
“Males need to cultivate their connection through interaction,” states Dr. Machin.
Establishing a connection between father and infant may be postponed, as there may initially be a limited exchange of communication, which can be challenging since babies are not yet capable of it.
“This worries some fathers, but we attempt to educate them about it and inform them that it will occur.
Once the baby is developmentally able to interact, both the dad and the baby have developed a two-way relationship. They have also developed a bond by playing, smiling, laughing, and babbling with each other.
Bonding is a key behavior, and babies around six months of age become capable of playing with their dads. Massage is one of the key behaviors that can help babies in the early days.
I try to encourage all dads to spend time playing with their children in this way, as it is particularly good for baby and dad bonding and releases hormones when they play rough and tumble.
The Australian dad
In 2013, McCrindle Research stated that dads comprise 20 percent of Australia’s population.
That totals to around 4.6 million dads in 2013. As per the report, among them, 156,000 are fathers who are single-handedly raising their kids.
With the average age of a father being 33.1 years old, the report also discovered that first-time fathers are older than previous generations.
Interestingly, the report found that the average time mothers and fathers spend caring for their child per day has not changed between 2006 and 1997, with respective hours of 8.5 and four.
However, the way men allocate their time with their children has altered.
The report says that dads are less likely to be adept at building a cubby house, fixing a punctured tyre or tap, changing a nappy, baking a birthday cake, washing clothes, and dropping off kids at school.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) has discovered that the number of fathers utilizing adaptable working arrangements to attend to their children has increased twofold since the mid-90s. Approximately 30 percent of fathers now utilize flexible work hours to care for children below the age of 12, in contrast to only 16 percent of fathers two decades ago. Furthermore, the report highlights that 16 percent of Australian men feel that their work and family obligations are seldom or never in harmony.
The proportion of fathers employed part-time has risen from one percent to five percent, whereas the proportion of fathers who work remotely to look after their children has doubled from seven percent to 14 percent. Moreover, the number of fathers working from home has also doubled, increasing from seven percent to 14 percent.
According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS), the proportion of fathers who took time off after their child was born rose from 31 percent in 2004 to 49 percent in 2015.
Although the statistics appear hopeful for fathers, Dr. Machin emphasizes the difficulties that modern fathers are encountering.
As a culture, we have a system in which dads are the primary wage earners, meaning that very little is offered to them after the birth of their child.
The workplace has not evolved to think that it might be more appropriate for men to take time off to be with their dad, who often faces difficulties when asking for leave.
“They are obligated to play the role of the breadwinner in the 1950s and the modern involved father. The idea of possessing it all.”
They are unable to accomplish both tasks to their desired extent, which can result in significant stress.
“Men have the same biological readiness to be parents as women do,” states Dr. Machin.
As she explains, new fathers experience a growth in grey and white substance in regions of the brain associated with caring, identifying risks, understanding others’ emotions, finding solutions, strategizing, and striving towards objectives, similar to mothers.
“These are all abilities that parents need to take care of their children and ensure their safety,” she states.
There is also a decrease in testosterone around the period of childbirth.
She states, “The decline is crucial to redirect the man’s attention towards the family, which is observed in all organisms where the father remains present and nurtures his offspring.”
Men with lower testosterone levels are more motivated to know and care for their child’s emotional and physical needs.
Regarding the kind of father men will become, they simply need to look to their own father, clarifies Dr. Machin.
Twin studies have shown that genetic inheritance accounts for 20 percent of the influence on the environment, while the remaining 80 percent is influenced by other factors.
A man is greatly influenced by fathering, whether he encounters it as a child or fathers his own child, by the knowledge of his own father or other fathers.
To become a good father, drivers must certainly learn from the mistakes of their own fathers and ensure that the cycle of bad parenting does not continue across generations.
Dads matter to sons and daughters
It is equally important for dads to be present in their children’s lives, as Dr. Machin says, to establish a bond in those first few months of flexible work arrangements.
She states, “Fathers play a larger role than mothers in their child’s mental health because they have a special role in the social sphere and in the development of executive functions such as trust, inhibition of behavior, and sharing empathetic skills, as well as in the development of language and pro-social skills.”
“They are the ones who teach perseverance, handling failure, evaluating risk, and facing challenges.”
Fathers play a distinct role in shaping their daughters’ self-esteem, confidence, and assertiveness, according to Dr. Machin. He further explains that this influence applies to both sons and daughters.
“According to her, they hold an imbalanced control over their daughter’s educational and professional achievements, their connections, and their emotional well-being.”
Support dads to do their job
Unfortunately, society has been slow to keep up with these changes in parenting as Dr. Machin suggests that parents are considered dispensable, even secondary beings in the eyes of some.
“Governments and healthcare sectors have been sluggish in providing assistance to fathers and recognizing their equal position as a parent.”
So, how can we provide optimal support to fathers?
“To begin with, by considering them as an equal participant in the process of childbirth and parenting,” she states.
“By acknowledging that they share a distinct bond with their child and that their child will have their own concerns, questions, and needs.”
“As a community, we must cease categorizing fathers as either incapable or absent.
“Because truly this is not the true nature of my father.
We all need to understand what dads bring to their children and the benefits that it brings to the next generation and their families.